I know… Its about time I told you about my fabulous day trip to the Good Food and Wine Show this year. The best year yet – because I nolonger “work” in the wine industry in the traditional sense – and I got to participate as a patron.
And participating as a patron has taught me that the organisers have neglected to think of one think that serious wine drinkers /tasters need: Spittoons. Now guys if you only learn one thing from my blog, let it be this:
Spitting wine out is polite. Of course, we don’t do this at home, but Wine tasting etiquette in a sales room demands you to start spitting. Why? Because you start getting inebriated. If you are getting tiddly and trying 20 wines, you won’t be able to remember your day and the sales person will not be interested in you seriously. You will not get to try the good stuff. Why else? A Cellar Door is in no way friday afternoon free drinks. I am pro-charging for wine tastings. Boo Hoo. What is $5 to try a $100 bottle of wine?
Too embarassed? Personally I am more judgemental of a non-spitter than someone who has tried and managed to get a trophy of red wine spilled down their front. It doesnt have to be classy. Just lean over and spit it in. Or if a small bucket, pick it up by the rim if you have to and discreetly spit. A good cellar door will keep emptying it to save you the protein splash backs. [Shudders]
To appear serious to another wineo you should complete in ORDER:
- Look at the glass. Colour of wine can tell you alot more than you know. Colour comes from age, the skins, oak… The “legs” or the clear running film of wine thats slow to fall will tell you about the level of alcohol in the wine.
- Swill the wine. If you can’t manage to keep the contents inside your glass put the base on a flat surface and swill in circular motions keeping the base flat. You’ll look like a pro. Swilling opens up wine to air, oxygenation releases flavour as air excites the molecules in the wine. Its like wine porn.
- Stick your nose in. One thing that irked me is when customers bypassed the nose. If our taste is through our nose, then 80% of the enjoyment in a great wine for me is in the nose. I can spend more time wanking on about the features of the wine’s “bouquet” more than I can it’s flavour at times. The other thing is, I literally mean “stick your nose in”. Aim to get as close to the wine without touching it with your nose. To be honest and to scare you, I isolate my right nostril and only take it in with one. (I am a righty, but I can also swing to the left). I think this clarifies my sense of smell… but to be honest I have no idea if its of better benefit to anyone else but me.
- Sip. The worst part about non-wineos is when they gulp it like beer. Wine is all about mouth feel, so don’t rush it. Sip, keeping it on the front of your palate and then pull the wine through your mouth. Sucking air through the wine as it allows the layers show show different flavours. Its not a gargle but a subtle “inhale” by almost whilstling backwards.
- Spit. Don’t need to do it at home. Hell the best of us smash heads are wineos. But seriously, if you are at a winery, you look like a fool if you don’t. It has nothing to do with being a driver or having a good time. It is actually rude to swallow everything.
- Lastly, if you liked something. Buy it. If you tried everything but didnt like anything, buy something*. Its like trying on every dress in the shop and looking great in everything, flashing your credit card and not buying anything.
*The above section was changed to reflect my intended meaning not the one that came out when I rushed to the {submit} button.
At the Good Food and Wine Show, the only spittons around were the small overflowing buckets. Its disappointing that they want to be taken seriously as Australias Biggest Food and Wine Show and only offer a tiny little bucket that quickly overflows. To be honest, I was spitting in silo rubbish bins. Attractive thought…
So…. the last question of the night is – do you spit or swallow? 
